Love's the worst!
by H.Solo
Summary: If Disney dared to make animated movie about Swan Queen love, I think it would be little bit like this...


**Love's the worst!**

"What is the meaning of this?" loud voice of the Evil Queen could be heard ripping through the atrium.

"Well, hello to you too, Regina. Nice of you to join us." blonde woman known as Maleficent took one step closer to the queen while greeting her. "We were waiting for you!"

"Hello Maleficent. Dear." Regina tried to hide her annoyance, but it was evident that she was loosing her temper. She recognized people gathered around her and that sight was enough to make her feel uncomfortable.

"As I said, we were waiting for you. Would you please sit" The tone of Maleficent's voice was condescending, verging on angry and that made Regina genuinely surprised so she sat on a plush seat of the big chair offered to her.

"All right." Regina said looking at the faces around her "I doubt that you called me here just because you missed me. Tell me, _what is the meaning of this_?"

"Regina, Regina, Regina... Always with the temper." Tall, dark man named Jafar said. "Really darling, relax, you are among friends." He finished stupidly grinning while the little bird on his shoulder cricked its head left and right.

"We got you here because we were worried about you" It was Ursula's turn to speak. The woman rarely attended their regular meetings, preferring the commodity that the sea gave her. Her rather large body made her unable to move as fast and as gracious on the lands as she would like, so she avoided it as much as she could. But she was here today. And that made Regina nervous.

"Worried?" Regina smirked, but quickly changed her facial expression into one of great indifference. "There is nothing to be worried about. I assure you!"

"Is that so?" Another voice added and Regina bristled, who even invited _her_ here? "You see... We heard stories. Strange stories... Regarding you, and certain blonde princess. Love stories to be exact." 'This woman loved the sound of here voice little too much' Regina thought. "You must understand our concern, dear. We felt the need to intervene... Yes..." she nodded with her head "You may consider this- an intervention."

Regina rolled her eyes.

"Your Majesty..." Governor Ratcliffe gulped "You must understand... after Rumpelstiltskin fiasco... well, we have to be extra careful..."

Regina crossed her arms and leaned back on the chair so she could sit more comfortably. This man sickened her. But, he was in love with her and a little bit scared of her. And so, she preferred having him in her corner, because he was always willing to rattle about the plans of the others in their group. Therefore she answered calmly, with a big fake smile "As I said, there is nothing to be worried about. I am certainly not Rumpelstiltskin. And there is no need for this ridiculous _intervention_!"

Every single pair of eyes in the room were looking at her but Regina sat there proudly and stubbornly resisted to feel intimidated by their stares. She was after all The Evil Queen, the most vicious ruler in her land. And beyond.

"Good. Isn't it good that we sorted that out?" Older, dark woman with features so similar to Regina's, broke the silence.

Regina inhaled deeply, unaware that she stopped breathing for a moment. "Yes mother, I assure you that any stories you heard about princess Emma are by far too stretched and exaggerated. You know how people like to gossip."

"So you are not by any chance in love with that girl?" Maleficent rejoined the debate.

Regina made disgusted face while looking at her, one would say friend... if evil queens had those, "In love? No!" she smirked "There is no way that I am in love with that insufferable idiot!"

"And you married the girl only to annoy her insipid parents, yes?" Governor asked.

"YES!" Regina finally lost her illusory calm. "Yes, I was glad to make them suffer!"

"Now, now Regina, we believe you, no reason to yell. I raised you better than that." Cora reprimanded her.

Regina instantly lowered the tone of her voice "Yes mother." but still spoke firmly against their accusations "I had to make them suffer, and what the better way to do that than to marry their precious daughter?"

"If you wanted to make them suffer you should have killed her." Ursula finally spoke again.

"I thought about that... After she ate that poisonous apple I was prepared to let her die, but their announcement changed my plans. They offered her hand in marriage to anyone who would save her, and it was awfully good opportunity to miss it. You should have seen their faces when they realized that it was I who saved their little girl." Regina curled her lips in her signature evil smile "And half of their realm was added bonus." she finished.

"Then you should have killed her after you got married!"

"Alas, I couldn't." Regina said exhaling loudly "They made me promise not to harm her in any way, it was their condition in order to let us marry."

"It is a good thing then that you have us, isn't it?" Cora spoke.

"What do you mean mother?"

"Regina dear, you could be really dense sometimes, it must be the trait you inherited from your father" older woman answered "But I am here dear, to clean up the mess you made." she continued "You see, I never promised anything. _We_ never promised anything. And we will help you get rid of that ignorant girl."

"But how?"

This time Maleficent answered "Come, we will show you" she motioned for Regina to follow them.

Regina stood up and quickly walked with the group while they moved their party to another room. White wigged servants held large, golden doors while bowing deeply and Regina stepped inside. The room was vast and unusually bright, so unlike other rooms in Maleficent's castle. Beautifully curved pillars adorned this room while the big glass mosaic rather then the roof let the sun shine through it, illuminating sleeping form on big, beautiful bed, everyone gathered around. Regina stepped closer. It was her wife that slept in it.

She looked at the faces around her then back at a sleeping princess, then back around, shocked and a little bit annoyed. But Emma slept soundly, not disturbed by the noises around her, although she would occasionally stretch her arm or leg, grunting and silently snoring.

"How?" was all Regina could say.

"Sleeping curse" Maleficent said flatly, she thought that that much was obvious. 'Not to Regina, apparently' she mentally rolled her eyes.

"But she is shuffling... and snoring... you are not suppose to snore while cursed into deep sleep" Regina was confused, again.

"Yes, one would expect princess to have grace in her sleep, but this one..." she pointed out disgusted "This one has a grace of a goat!"

That sounded awfully lot like Emma.

"All right, so you summoned me here to inform me that my wife is under the effect of sleeping curse... If you wanted to kill her you could have done it more efficiently, not curse her to sleep eternally" Regina rolled her eyes, not believing this... stupidity. 'And they call themselves evil masterminds'.

"Regina, Regina, Regina, so beautiful but so short sighted..." Jafar sighed, his bird snickered.

Regina turned to look at him. What is with this man and her name? And that stupid bird...

"Really dear, you think so low of us" Cora spoke "and while some deserved your distrust, you know better then to doubt your own mother."

"You see, we wanted to get rid of your _wifey_ here" she pointed in Emma's direction "while proving where your loyalty lies".

"Mother..." Regina was incredulous "You are not saying what I think you're saying!"

"Yes Regina, I am. You must do it dear."

"But... But... No... I can not... I will not!"

"There you go, I told you she is in love with that girl." Drizella triumphantly exclaimed.

"I am NOT!"

"Then prove it. Kiss the girl!"

Regina looked pleadingly at Cora, for the first time in her life. But the other woman stood still and impassive as always. So Regina inhaled and then exhaled audibly.

"Fine! If that will prove that I'm not by any chance _in love_" she said those two words like they were choking her "then I will kiss her. Come on, let's be done with it."

"By all means then, kiss her dear, no one is stopping you."

Regina looked around herself, again. She felt slightly nauseous and horrified by the thing she had to do, though she was sure that one little kiss couldn't do any harm. She felt sorry for Emma, even though that was the first time that she felt sorry for anything or anyone. Regina was getting quite fond of the girl over the time they had spent together, but it was still insufficient to wake the blonde from her curse. Maybe some day a True Love will come and kiss Emma and wake her up, but Regina was sure that it was not this day. It was not Regina that was Emma's True Love, she was certain of that. So she leaned and kissed her.

Nothing happened.

"See, I told you!" Regina was happy to announce.

"Oh, come on! You kissed lass' cheek. You're suppose to smooch her lips" Hook said disappointed.

That man enjoyed a prospect of this kiss too much.

Regina rolled her eyes for the umpteenth time that day and dove again. This time she made sure to plant a kiss on the girl's lips.

Nothing really happened. Emma's lips were soft and sweet and inviting and she regretted not kissing them before but what can you do? There will always be another lips for kissing. She turned again, so sure of her victory. Now she'll shove their accusations up their disrespectful little...

But, all of a sudden gasp ran trough the room. People looked behind her and she knew, she knew that Emma was awake.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I would appreciate if you leave your comment/review or your suggestions very much! I plan to continue this story, with both what happened before this as well as after, but I am not sure when, so if you liked it, tell me and I will try to write updates sooner then later! My love to every and single one of you Swen!**


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